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You actually like “Tyrkisk Peppar” despite most of the rest of the world thinking it tastes disgusting and you refuse to believe it’s Danish. It confuses you that Mc Donald’s abroad doesn’t have béarnaise sauce. You claim Swedish strawberries are superior to all others, but really can’t tell the difference. The best cake is ”Princess Tårta” and you know that any other cake is rubbish. You get confused when Non-Swedes talk about ”swedish Krisprolls” when they really mean ”skorpor”. You claim”Köttbullar” is a unique Swedish dish and that you can´t have it elsewere (ignoring meat balls, from Northen Africa/Italy/Greece etc. You find it completely normal for supermarkets to have a whole aisle dedicated to the staple diet ”KORV” (sausage).

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You go to Australia and get really pissed off with ”Miss Mauds swedishbakery” and the fact that they don’t serve anything Swedish. You try to get non-Swedes to like smoked salmon and pickled herring. You feel that ”kladdkaka” tastes better than normal chocolate cake.

You hate keyboards without “å, ä, ö” with a passion. You think it’s perfectly normal and not offending at all when Frank Zappa’s song ”Bobby Brown goes down” is played at a disco for 9-year olds 32. You think dating someone you haven’t even had drunken sex with yet is a bit backwards.

You think thats its ridiculous to build houses from bricks. Since snuff ”isn’t harmful”, you can’t understand why no one except the Scandinavians use it. You don’t think a farmhouse is actually a farmhouse unless it is red or yellow with white trim. You don’t find ”bananer i pyjamas” to be a bit sexual. You realize that five ants are more than four elephants 30. Then follow their recommendation without complaining and in utter faith. Still, you are tempted to go, live, or study there. You are in France and you are feeling a bit continental going to a café ordering a “café au lait” (despite the fact that the French have no clue what you are on about). You call cupcakes “muffins” and argue that your way is right. When someone offers you a hotdog, you are genuinely surprised to find it is not a frankfurter in a ‘korvbröd’ and even more surprised to find that there is no such thing as a ‘korvbröd’ and hotdogs are actually served in plain rolls. You actually miss “Knäckebröd” when you are abroad but never eat it in Sweden since it’s too dry. You insist that Swedish chocolate is the best in the world, despite what the Belgians and the Swiss might say. You are abroad and you instinctively reply ”lagom” when the waiter ask how you would like your steak. You get cranky if you don’t get to eat ”havregrynsgröt” every morning. You know that there is a massive difference between “gravlax” and smoked salmon, and differences in opinion on which tastes the better has led to many arguments during family dinners. You get really defensive when people think “Smörgåsbord” simply means a variety of something and can’t grasp the concept of one. You need to explain the concept of ”Smörgåstårta” to someone, and you have to point out that “no, it’s not a cake, it is food”.

Then you went abroad and realized that you were wrong. You consider yourself as Scandinavian, not European. A good nights sleep only counts if it consists of 8 consecutive hours.

You find the idea of carpets in bathrooms and toilets simply appalling. You thought carpets was a concept of the past or the ferrys to Finland/Estonia/Germany/Denmark. You don’t really consider silence a problem in social situations. Therefore, you don’t understand why Non-Swedes give you one word answers. You think people that don’t send their kids to nursery school (”dagis”) are strange.

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